***READ THE FULL FIRST CHAPTER BELOW!***
BAD NANNY: a love story
(The Bad Nanny Trilogy #1)
by C.M. Stunich
Releases: September 2015
Holy sweet baby Jesus.
I don’t know anything about taking care of kids.
I pierce nipples, navels, and noses for a living.
I’ve never even held a baby before. Not once. Never changed a diaper or cleaned up a skinned knee. Hell, I don’t even want kids. I’m more of a drifter, a once in a lifetime lover, and then I move on.
Family? Commitment? Nuh uh, no way.
Tough shit, though, because my brother and his kids need me. Desperately.
I never thought to wonder if I might need them, too.
That I might need her, this strange woman I met at a playground.
She doesn’t know I’m not a professional nanny, but what am I supposed to do now?
She hired me; I took care of her sister’s kids for her; I fucked her.
My life is so screwed up.
© C.M. Stunich
“Move for me,” I growl, curling my hands around my new lady friend’s hips. She’s got almost as many tattoos as I do and the kaleidoscope mind-fuck of her arching her back above me is just about enough to send me over the edge.
She squeals and giggles as I flip her over and run my fingers through her hair. It’s like cotton candy, all pink and soft and shit. I fucking love Las Vegas. Ever since I moved here and got a job as a body piercer, I’ve had so many opportunities to meet new friends. Friends that smell like body butter, with soft skin, and healthy sexual appetites.
This is the real “City That Never Sleeps” and there’s no way in hell I would ever leave. I don’t think this girl, Katie, and me have slept in three days. Thank God for holiday weekends, right?
“Oh, Zay,” she moans, running her tongue up the side of my face. I grab her wrists in my hands and slam them into the pillow behind her head, nipping at her exposed throat as I thrust hard and fast, slamming our pelvises together with the sweet sound of flesh on flesh. Oh God yes. “You are the world’s fucking hottest nerd.”
I grin big.
“Hey, just because I take breaks to shoot rebel soldiers online with my buddies does not make me a nerd.” I put a little extra strength in my next thrust and get rewarded with a guttural groan from Katie’s pretty little lips. If she hadn’t walked into the shop to get her tits pierced on Friday, I’d have missed out on all this fun. Lucky me.
“You have a toy collection, Zayden,” she says, but I don’t respond. If she’s able to talk, then I’m not doing my job right.
“What if I asked you to be one of my little toys? Because I want to play all night long with your movable parts.” Katie laughs and I groan. Ladies, laughter tightens up all those muscles downstairs. Guys fucking love it. Laugh more during sex, pretty please.
I nibble Katie’s lower lip, tasting cherry lip gloss, and slide my tongue into her mouth. Fuck, do I love women. They always smell so good, feel so soft, taste so sweet. If I had to list my hobbies for a stranger, it’d go like this: fucking, video games, fucking, and listening to pop music. But don’t tell anybody about that last one or I’ll have to kill you.
I squeeze Katie’s wrists tighter, fuck her harder, and feel myself on the verge of a mind-blowing orgasm when my phone goes off, buzzing across the nightstand like a vibrator gone rogue.
The ringtone is the song Toxic, but not the Britney Spears’ version (even though I secretly dig it). I had to save face, so I put on A Static Lullaby’s cover of it.
There’s only one person on my contacts list that has that ringtone and he never calls.
I pause for a moment, but Katie wiggles beneath me and I end up dropping my mouth to her freshly pierced nipples. I run my tongue around one and avoid the sore spot, teasing just close enough to make her squirm.
“I’m coming, Zay,” she groans as my cock drives deeper and harder. I can feel her tightening around me, getting ready to explode. Thank God. I don’t think I could hold on much longer.
The phone stops ringing and immediately starts up again.
I pause yet again, and Katie ends up getting her hands free, wrapping her arms around my neck.
“So close,” she whispers against my ear. “So close. Don’t stop.”
So I keep going and then fucking fuck, there goes that damn phone again.
“I have to answer it,” I say, because my brother, he only calls if there’s an emergency. I stay right where I am, wrapped up inside of Katie, and lean over to take the call.
“What the fuck do you want? This better be good. I’m entertaining company right now.”
My brother doesn’t hesitate to rip me a new one.
“Do you have any compassion at all, Zayden? What is your goddamn problem? It’s not like I ever ask you for anything. You never return my phone calls or texts, never come home for the holidays.”
“Okay, and what’s wrong with that? It’s not as if we’re exactly close,” I say and then sit back in shock when Katie slaps me across the face with an open hand.
“I was close,” she snaps at me, shoving me back and climbing off the bed. I watch in stunned frustration as she gathers her jeans and tugs them on. “Enjoy the rest of your Monday, you dick.”
The front door slams closed behind her as I tug off my condom with a growl. Great. Just great. And I didn’t even get her number or her last name. What a waste.
“I need your help, Zayden,” Rob says, and I catch the strain in his voice right off the bat. Whatever this is, it really is serious. I feel a little guilty for being an asshole – to both Rob and Katie – and climb off the bed to dispose of the condom in the trash can under the window. “It’s Mercedes’ parents,” he continues as I open the top drawer of my dresser and grab some boxers. My hard-on’s long gone now, no point in wandering around naked. Feels kind of wrong to have my junk hanging out when I’m talking to my brother, you know what I mean?
“Okay?” I ask, trying to be sympathetic. I mean, Rob might be a jerk, but his wife, Mercedes, is actually pretty awesome. Sometimes when Rob’s asleep and she doesn’t think she’ll get caught, she gets online and joins my raid group. That girl can take on a red dragon zombie boss like nobody’s business – impressive, even if it’s all part of a computer game.
“They were in an accident,” he says, sounding tired and worn-out. Rob works as an insurance salesman, so I can totally see that. If I worked as an insurance salesman, I’d only be at the job long enough to buy a gun and a single bullet.
“Oh, shit, are they alright?” I ask, pausing in the kitchen. It’s a disaster of take-out and pizza boxes, and it smells like my cat’s litter box. Well, technically, he’s not my cat. One of my girlfriends left him here when she moved out, and I kind of like the little bastard. I spy the cat crouched on my stove, completely hairless, a hideous feline monstrosity, and flip it off. Hubert hisses at me and flicks his tail, glaring at me with creepy white-green eyes. The effect is somewhat lessened since he’s wearing a black sweater. Hey, this is Vegas and it gets hotter than hairy balls in a pair of briefs. I keep the air conditioner cranked, and Hubert being a hairless cat and all, he gets the chills.
Told you I was a nerd.
“They’re alive, if that’s what you’re really asking,” Rob says, just before a piercing screech crashes through the phone and I jerk it away from my ear like I’ve been slapped. Either that’s a banshee coming to take my soul to the underworld, or it’s Rob’s daughter, Kinzie. Yes, Kinzie. Weird name. I know, that’s what I thought, too.
I am so fucking glad I don’t have children.
I work very, very hard to make sure my dick is sheathed at all times. And I always use my own condoms, just to make sure they’re fresh and free of holes. Honestly, if I had to choose between having kids and throwing myself off of a bridge, I’d have to think for a while to give you an answer.
“Well, that’s good, right?” I ask, shooing the cat off the stove and sliding an old pizza box forward. The slices inside are stiff and tough, like chewy cardboard covered in melted plastic. I shove the end of one in my mouth anyway and turn around, leaning back against the counter. “So what do you need me for?” I ask around a mouthful.
“You know her parents live in South Africa, right?”
“And that’s halfway around the world.”
“Zayden, they’re in critical condition. There’s a good chance neither of them will make it through the week.” I flinch and swallow my bite.
“Man, I’m so sorry to hear that. Give Mercedes my love and tell her I’m praying for them.”
“Why don’t you tell her yourself?” Rob asks cryptically as I snap my fingers at Hubert who’s desperately trying to untangle himself from his sweater.
“Put her on, I guess,” I say, wrinkling up my brow and finishing up my pizza slice. I scratch my belly with tattooed fingers and wait.
“Zayden, Mercedes and I are flying to Joburg to see them. Tomorrow.”
Joburg. Johannesburg. The city that’s home to the tallest building in Africa. That much, at least, I know. Everything else here is a mystery to me. I grab a second slice of pizza and then toss it aside. That one has mold on it. Third one looks fine though.
“What the fuck are you getting at? You know I suck at word games, Rob.”
“Zayden, I’m asking you to drive up here. You know, to take care of the kids for me.”
“Um, no?” I say, barely managing to keep from dropping my pizza to the floor. Take care of Rob’s kids? I’ve met them once. Once. And they were little demons from hell – screeching, wailing, squalling monsters. Oh, and that’s not to mention the brand new freaking baby they just had like last year or whatever. A seven year old girl, four year old twins (who may or may not be human based on their behavior), and an infant.
Oh fuck the fuck out of that.
“Why doesn’t Mercedes go, and you can stay with the kids?”
“My wife’s parents are on their death beds, Zayden, and all you can think about is yourself? Do you think I’d have called if I had anyone else?”
“That really inspires confidence, bro. Why would you even trust me with watching your kids anyway? I killed two goldfish last week. On accident.” I don’t mention the fact that it was actually Hubert who murdered Teensy and Woo-woo, two more pets left over from a past girlfriend.
“I work a shit job. I have no money, no family in this world other than you. Mercedes has nobody left other than her parents. Zayden, please. Don’t send my wife alone to watch her parents die.”
I stand up straight and pad across the cold slate tile floor to the fridge to grab a soda. My brother’s using the sympathy card on me right now, and it’s working. I might be kind of a douche sometimes, but I’m really a nice guy underneath. I think? I mean, I try to be anyway.
“The kids don’t have passports, Zay. And Mercedes doesn’t want to take the baby on such a long flight. Can you imagine trying to care for a one year old in a hotel room? Or how about at the side of a hospital bed?”
“Dude, it’s a fourteen hour drive up there and all I have is my ugly ass Geo. The car is older than I am, Rob. I was conceived in the backseat of the damn thing. I can’t drive that piece of shit to the grocery store, let alone into California.”
I pop the top on my Mountain Dew and down half of it before Rob decides to speak again, his voice low and thick, like he’s on the verge of tears. Fucking Christ. In the background, Kinzie screams again, sending a chill down my spine.
“You’re my last chance, Zay. Please. Please do this. What would Mom and Dad say if they were here?” I roll my eyes and run the fingers of my right hand through my the hair on the left side of my scalp. The other side is currently shaved like a military man gone punk. “I’ll tell you what they’d say: Family is everything and everything is family. This is as much your problem as it is mine, Zay. We’re brothers, and even though you can be an irresponsible prick sometimes, I love you.”
“Gah,” I stick my tongue out at my own reflection and shake my head. I can’t take this lovey family shit. I feel myself just about ready to cave in. My buddy runs the shop I work at, so he’d understand. Besides, I could get the new dude, what’s-his-face, to take over my appointments for me. I’d miss out on a lot of nipple piercings, but what choice do I have? I can’t tell Rob no and not feel like a piece of human garbage, now can I? “Fine.”
Rob sighs in relief as goose bumps break out over my arms.
I’m going to hate this. Every second of it. I know that to be a fact.
“But I want a plane ticket. I can’t drive fourteen hours straight, man.”
“I can’t afford a plane ticket for you. I just spent all of my savings on tickets for Mercedes and me. You’ll have to drive. If you leave now and take minimal rest stops, you can be here a few hours before our flight leaves tomorrow.”
I start to protest, but the phone is suddenly snatched away from my brother by his wife.
“Thank you, Zay,” she sobs, voice thick and sniffly. “Thank you so much. I love you like the little brother I never had, you know that right?”
I’m a sucker for pretty girls in distress.
I purse my lips so tight that my lip rings stand out like swords on either side of my mouth.
“See ya in fourteen hours then.”